The 16 Mile Loop Has Been Conquered (sort of)

After two weeks of not being able to run trails due to bad weather and illness making it's way through the house I got back on the trail Sunday. I had a 14 mile long run planned and decided to do it at my favorite place, Kings Mountain State Park. The main trail there is a 16 mile loop. So far all I've done is out and backs since I haven't been doing enough mileage to complete the loop. I figured with 14 miles to do it would be a great chance to finally do the whole loop. I figured I'd walk the first and the last miles and with 14 of running in between.

The temperature started out around 35 and slowly moved up to 40. A last minute wardrobe change after arriving at the park turned out to be perfect! (this is a rare feat to pick the perfect running attire for a long run) We have had several weeks of wet weather so I knew the trails would be wet but I wasn't really prepared for what was ahead of me.

I brought my Argus Bean camera, an xmas gift from my dad, along to take some pictures of my favorite spots on the trail. This camera is ultra light weight, only a few ounces and is water resistant. It is designed to be able to clip onto your gear easily as well. It's only 5 megapixels but for convenience during trail running it's perfect. This was my first run bringing it along. I attached it to the loop on the back of my fuel belt and hoped the camera bouncing on my tush wouldn't annoy me too much.

The first 5 miles were uneventful. I enjoyed the trail thoroughly. I stopped a few times for some snap shots of the trail. I reminded myself from time to time not to be over exuberant because I had a long way to go. I carried out my plan to stop my watch at mile 5 and walk so I could do any gear/clothing adjustments and refuel. After removing my gloves I decided to test my trail potty using skills. I gave myself an A+ on this test. I judged these skills on these points: not peeing on myself, not coming in contact with any poisonous plant life, no animals/insects attacking me, and not being seen by others that might be out on the trail. Once I was all put back together I refueled with a fig newman bar and some water. I then restarted my watch and took off at an easy pace.

Around mile 6 I started to come across more mud and boggy areas. My toes got a tiny bit wet every now and then but no big deal. I was having fun and that's all that counts. At this point I'm still reminding myself to keep it easy because there are many more miles to come. At exactly mile seven I encounter a stream that is too wide to jump over. I look both up and down the stream hoping there might be a narrower spot but there is none. So I go for it and just run through the cold stream. This point marks the down turn of trail conditions. From here on out it's mostly muddy, lots of boggy ground, and many more stream crossings. At one point the stream crossing was so wide I wasn't even sure I was in the right place. Looking back I now wish I had taken a picture but at the time all I could think of was the safest way across. My feet and ankles were starting to tire from all the slipping and my legs felt like they were loaded down by bricks but I was still having fun.

The fun started to end between miles 9 and 10. Being so unfamiliar with the trail made me wonder if I was still on the right trail, dog help me if I had wondered onto the longer equestrian trails! My legs weren't getting any fresher either. Around mile 10.5 the area started to become familiar! Sweet sandal wearing wiener dog, I've made it! (sort of) Being back on familiar trail put my mind at ease but did little for my mud heavy legs. Another good thing was the trail was significantly less muddy. I knew I'd be coming upon the road the leads back to the parking lot soon. I decided if I was at 12 miles by then I'd take a left, cutting the loop short by 3 miles, and head back and hope it was a mile so I could get as close to 13 miles in as possible. Sadly I was not as far along as I wanted.

I was feeling a bit better and thought I might just be able to make the full 14 miles. I knew that around mile 12 the trail would be mostly downhill or level, good news for heavy legs. Just as I thought, mile 12 started a renewed energy with being able to coast downhill a lot. Sadly at mile 13 the side of my left knee felt a twinge of pain. I was not happy! I had no problems with my left hip during this run, hadn't even thought about it. Why on earth was my IT Band doing this to me now? I was on a roll! I stopped and stretched it. I managed .25 miles before I felt it again. Stopped stretched and continued. Ugh, .25 later and I felt it again so I gave in and walked.

I hadn't planned on having to walk 1.5 miles back to the trail head, just 1 miles. Something about that extra half mile that made it seem more daunting. I pulled my headband over my ears and put my gloves back on. After 5 minutes I was getting very cold. I stretched my IT Band again and ran for a few minutes to get warm. Then I walked up the massive .45 mile hill as my legs screamed at me to sit and rest. Had it been warmer I would have stopped and done lots of stretching halfway up but it was too cold for that. I made it up the hill and started to run again to get warm and speed things up. I was so happy to finally see the visitor center through the trees!

I checked back in at the desk and beelined it to my car. Once at my car I sat down on the bumper and peeled off my wet shoes and socks. I had brought clean shoes to put on but no dry socks or towel. I made a mental note to be sure to bring them next time. My feet were covered in mud and look like prunes but the clean dry shoes were the bomb even without socks. My heated car seats were just the ticket and I blasted the heat. On my way home I thought over my run. I decided for next week to do the Ridgeline trail because I'm positive it won't be so wet. I've also decided not to do the full 16 mile loop again until we've had a good dry spell, only out and backs on there until then.

Today I'm sore in places I've not been sore in for a long time. Mentally I feel good about it. The run had it's highs and very lows and I survived. Now onto next Sunday's long run, the last one before the Xterra Thrill in the Hills Half Marathon! I'd like for this last long run to be less taxing. I'm going to try walking a minute at the end of each 2 mile segment and I'm going to refuel with food at mile 5 and 9. Here's to things looking up for next Sunday!

The Ugly Truth About Motherhood

There is a part of motherhood rarely spoken of. This is the part that you feel ashamed to admit, that is taboo to say to others. The feeling of resentment and anger towards your little one that surfaces from time to time. I don't know how often other moms feel it but for me right now it's several times a day.

Please don't get me wrong, I love my son with all my heart and can't imagine not having him. He wasn't an accident, we made the choice to create him. Even knowing how difficult he can be I'd still go back and do it all over because he is an amazing little guy and melts my heart from time to time. Even with all the frustration he adds to my life I look forward to seeing him in the morning and when I pick him up from school.

Right now I feel trapped and frustrated. I feel like my life is being held hostage by my precious child. He has never been easy. He was a high maintenance baby and has turned into a high maintenance toddler. An example of one of our biggest problems revolves around sleeping. He sleeps great through the night and he's a difficult napper, but the nap is the least of my worries. It's the waking up part that is the biggest source of drama during our day. 90% of the time when he wakes he is in a foul mood, usually crying. Today after a 2 hour nap he woke up and immediately started crying. He spent the next 20 minutes crying non-stop and throwing himself on the floor. For the following 45 minutes he was just a pill. Many days as soon as he wakes up in the morning I'm already counting down the hours until it's time to put him to bed.

I could make a list a mile long on the things that make me want to lock my little man up in his room until he's a few year older, but I won't do that. I'm sure there are kids worse than he is but I also know there are plenty of kids that are easier. If all kids were as high maintenance as my son the world's population would be a lot smaller. So, I know he's not typical and we have a special one. I keep telling myself that when he's older this will all translate to a really special person with lots of talent. But for now I want to run away and hide. I miss my freedom. I long for the days when I only had to figure out what to do with the dogs when we wanted to do something. I long to make and eat dinner without crying involved. I know we'll have those days again but right now it seems a lifetime away.

I wish more people were honest about the true frustrations of parenthood, especially motherhood. We knew parenthood wasn't going to be easy but nobody prepared me for these feelings of frustration, resentment, anger, and despair. If I hear someone tell me to cherish this time and these moments one more time I will lose my mind. When a mom talks of frustration it doesn't help to say these things to her. All I ask is for others to please acknowledge that these feelings are valid and normal. Nobody wants to feel guilty because they aren't feeling all warm and fuzzy about their child 100% of the time. I feel it's an awesome day if I get the warm fuzzies about Emmett 50% of the day. That is reality and it doesn't need to be a taboo.

Not everyone gives me the guilty feelings. I have several friends, some of them my running partners, that understand my myriad of feelings that I have towards my son. They make me feel more normal. But, in general, our society doesn't want people to talk about the dirty truth, that moms can and will resent their children at some point. It doesn't make us bad mothers it just makes us real humans.

So for now could someone please just knock me out and wake me up when he's ready to go to kindergarten?

Charlotte Running Co. Trail Race

I signed up for the 8.2 mile race on Monday or Tuesday. Within 24 hours of signing up I came down with a head cold. I thought it was no big deal, running always clears my sinuses and makes me feel better for awhile. Unfortunately for me this cold didn't have plans to just hang out in my sinuses. By Friday evening it was clear it was starting to work its way south. Friday night I slept horribly and struggled with deciding whether to race the 8.2, switch to the 3.8, or not go at all.

When I woke at 5:30 I felt better than I did the night before. My cold was still there but everything was more loose in my head and my cough wasn't as bad. I decided to head out to the race and make my decision about which distance to do when I got there.

Once there, I decided to go ahead and do the 8.2 miles. I ran an easy mile as a warm up and to see how my lungs would do. It was clear I wasn't going to be doing an all out race effort but I would survive. I found my friend Kay at her car and hung out with her and her friends until the race started.

There had been a good amount of rain this week so the trails were muddy. As usual the race got clogged at the trail head. People were walking down the first short hill. I immediately started passing people while they were walking down the hill. I spent the first few miles passing people. At first I was waiting for wider sections to pass but finally I just announced which side and slipped past people whether it was downhill, uphill, or narrow.

Around mile 3 I finally had plenty of room for working the trail at my pace. Every now and then I would catch up to a group but I had gotten good at passing by this point. I really enjoyed just blazing down the muddy hills, such a thrilling feeling! Just raise your elbows and take gentle quick steps down the hill. I picture myself picking my way through the tires on an obstacle course as I pick my way down the hills.

The race was nice and uneventful for me, no close calls, maybe putting my foot down wrong one time but no fear of falling. I tried to keep my pace a bit easier since my lungs were not at full capacity due to my cold. The last two miles I had to do some walking uphill, my lungs just couldn't do it and therefore my legs couldn't either.

I give huge kudos to The Charlotte Running Co. for organizing such a great race. They had more than enough water stations, though I didn't need it since I always bring my own to trail races, you just never know. They had volunteers placed where the trail split for the different distances to let the runners know which way to go for what distance. Very upbeat and encouraging people! The volunteers were always a welcome sight today.

As usual for a trail race the distance isn't known for sure. My Garmin had the race about half a mile short and my friend's Garmin had it just 0.1 mile short. After seeing the 8 mile marker on the trail I'm pretty confident in saying that we had close to half a mile or more to go. I'm not really sure what my pace was exactly somewhere around 11:00+ per mile. My time was 1:31:55 according to my Garmin.

Kay won her age group. I was 5th out of 15 in my age group. Other than my horrible cold, the morning was great fun and a total success!

Triad Trail Race Series 10k

Saturday morning I woke up at 5:00 am to drive just over 2 hours to Greensboro for a 10k trail race. The temperature was 23* when I left my house. Most people that know me know I don't do cold well. I stressed over what to wear all week. I don't want to get cold but I also hate getting too hot once I'm into my run. I made a few last minute changes to my previous evening's choices and loaded myself in the car and was off.

Thank goodness I made it more than 10 minutes on the road without needing a potty break, after the trip to Greenville last month I was a bit worried. I made it an hour before I started looking for a rest stop. There isn't one until you're 30 mins outside of Greensboro, now I know for the next trip. While I'm on the subject of potties, I was thrilled that the bathrooms at the race were indoors. I was not looking forward to using a porta-potty in sub 30* temps.

I did a short little jog around the road at the park just to get my blood flowing so I wouldn't freeze to death while waiting. After getting into the huddled mass at the start I decided that I needed to remove my middle shirt layer. Just when I decide that they give a 2 minute to start call. I quickly tear off my fuel belt, tug my top layers off , frantically separate them, then throw my top layer back on along with my fuel belt. Luckily my car was parked by the start line and I just tossed the shirt on my car. I was back in the huddle mass with 30 seconds to spare.

After the start the race was pretty uneventful. The ground was frozen and my face and feet were numb for the first half of the race. Even though it was uneventful I really enjoyed the race. I didn't feel like I put out the effort I normally do at a race, I put out more than a normal training run, but it clearly wasn't an all out effort. I finished in 54:37. I was very pleased and surprised. That put me 42/100 for overall, 14/42 for women, and 2/9 for 35-39.

I will probably go back up there in April for a half marathon on the same trail system, that's assuming I enjoy the half marathon in Feb.

Right now I'm trying to battle a cold. I'm losing. After my run this morning it was clear it is moving south towards my chest. Right now it's just lingering at the top of my throat but I can feel it trying to drop lower. I really don't need this right now. My running is going so well and my IT band and other recurring aches are starting to behave. Everyone in the family has had this cold. First Emmett, then Brian, now me. Emmett is still fighting his but Brian is all better. I need this to end!

Tomorrow night is Emmett's first Xmas show. This should be interesting, a bunch of 2 year olds shaking bells while the 3 and 4 year olds sing Jingle Bells. I will be bringing the video camera!

A Girl Can Change Her Mind, Again!

Well, I've been MIA on my blog. Sometimes I just don't have the concentration to sit down and put my thoughts into words. I'll try to give a quick update on all I've done since my last update.

I've managed to do a lot more trail running lately. I've only done two non trail runs in the past three weeks! Hooray! I got to do some trail running Thanksgiving week while visiting Brian's family in Michigan. I really enjoyed getting some time to myself to indulge in my obsession while on vacation. The drive home with lots of sitting made my IT band feel tight and I was worried it might be going rogue on me again but after a few days of being home with my foam roller we are both on the same page again. I'm up to 7 miles for my long runs and have added one more day of running to my week this week, so I will now run four days a week. I hope my body agrees to my new schedule.

I've got a 10k trail race in Greensboro, NC next Saturday. I'm 99% decided that I will not be running the Virginia Creeper Marathon in March in favor of concentrating on the Xterra Trail Race Series in South Carolina and Georgia. It's not like Marathons are going anywhere, when I'm ready I'll find one that fits my mood. I'm not going to blow the competition away in the Xterra Series but I'm already in third place for my age group in SC and I'd like to see if I can hold onto that or move up. I will focus on trail speed instead of long miles. I do like to go fast (well fast for me) and training for a marathon right now would require me to not think about speed. I feel a weight lifted off me and now I can go out and have fun. I am looking to do a half trail marathon Feb 27th in Winder, Georgia, it's an Xterra Xduro race. Brian will be racing it as well, should be a fun weekend with friends and family as well.

A Girl Can Change Her Mind- Paris Mt. 11k Trail Race

So, I changed my mind about doing the trail race last Saturday. I was worried it might rain for the 10k trail race on the 14th and it would end up a road race. So Saturday morning I made the 1.5 hour trek to Greenville, SC for the Paris Mountain 11k Trail Run.

I woke up at 4:00 am even though the alarm was set for 4:45. At least that gave me time to eat, drink some water, and get in my morning sun salutations. The drinking of water caught up with me as soon as I hit the highway. Seriously, not cool! I was hoping to make it to the welcome center rest stop just over the boarder in South Carolina but I couldn't make it. I found a gas station at the first SC exit and made a mad rush inside. Ah, much better. Sadly 20 mins to go and I'm starting to feel it again but manage to make it to Paris Mountain and bee line it to the potties. Clearly the extra time to drink water in the morning was a bad idea.

It was a cold morning and waiting for the start was going freeze me to death. I tried to keep moving to stay warm but my feet started to go numb anyway. The race finally started and my numb feet went on their way. I watched as lots of people went flying past me. I just smiled and mentally told them that I'd see them again later.

We started on the park road for about a quarter mile then made our way to a wide single track. Almost immediately I needed to start passing people, especially down hill. At about half a mile I'm finally not freezing to death and my lips are warming up but the feet still feel numb. I took my long sleeve shirt off in mile 2 and tied it on my waist. The gloves stayed on until mile three. Once the gloves were removed the temperature was perfect for running. Thank goodness for the big pockets on my running skirt so I could tuck my gloves in one and forget about them.

In mile two I'm thinking how gentle the trails are compared to the ones I do at home. I do know that there is a climb to the top of the mountain but I don't know when and how tough it will be. At the end of mile two I start to encounter rocky areas in the trail that are not runnable. It turns into a line of people working their way over the rocks. The space for running between the rocky areas gets smaller with each rocky area passed. The ascent to the top begins with trails that have very little room for error, it's mostly straight down hill to the stream if you mess up. We cross over the stream a few times. Some of the trail is basically rock steps, or root steps. If the trail isn't rocky it's too steep or your legs or too tired to run when the footing is good. I finally get near the top but have to dig deep to find the power in my legs to get back to running. At the top of the Mountain is the one aid station before the descent to the bottom.

The other side of the mountain is a huge relief. Lots of fast easy down hill with little roots or rocks to worry about. I catch up with another female runner and we do some chatting. She's a Marathon Maniac working on running all 50 states, she's up to 38 and she's planning on doing the Sears Tower Stair run. What an inspiration! Around mile 4 she takes a walk break and we say goodbye.

There were some awesome steep and twisty descents after mile 4. I got trapped behind some girls who were doing a good job blazing down them but they were just a hair slower at it than I was comfortable and it was beating up my legs to have to put on the brakes. I managed to get past one but not the other. Once the trail flattened out somewhat I stayed between the two women I had done the twisty descents with. I almost ate it on the flatter trail. I was on my way down when I flapped my arms out to the side and ran off the trail into the brush for a few strides and saved it. I was so shocked that I didn't eat it and so were the two girls I was in between!

The last mile I started to suffer. I couldn't make it up a hill without walking if it was more than a couple strides long. At one point I thought that I might be lost since I hadn't seen or heard any other runners in a while. Once I finally decided I wasn't lost I had lost my drive. My legs were shot and I had less than a quarter mile to go. As I got to the end I started to see people hanging out in the trees waiting for their friends and rooting us on. As I broke to walk up a small hill one man said, "Come on! The finish is just around that bend!" As I shuffled back to a run I replied, "If you say so." I was thrilled when I saw he was right! I ran through the shoot grabbed a water and my pair of finisher socks.

I felt so nauseous as I cooled down. The pancakes and chocolate milk looked so tasty but I waited awhile before testing them out. They were yummy but my stomach still wasn't happy with me. It took an hour or two after I got home for it to feel better.

I placed 2 out of 3 in my age group; one minute behind 1st and 30mins faster than 3rd. I was 14th out of 40 women, and 77th out of 131 overall.

My garmin stats:
Total time, distance, avg pace 1:17:43 - 6.95 miles - 11:11
lap 1) 9:54
lap 2) 10:22
lap 3) 16:28 (the mountain goat climb to the top of the mountain)
lap 4) 9:37
lap 5) 11:16
lap 6) 10:17
lap 7) 9:46

I am so pleased with my performance over such a tough course. I had so much fun and loved the challenge and the people. I will definitely be back for the 15k in May and I will be ready for that climb!

Dirty Knees

After not being able to get on a trail for almost two weeks I finally got back out there last Saturday. My friend Kay and I went to Kings Mountain and did 5 miles. The weather was not what we would have liked. The temps were about 10 degrees warmer than what we've been used to lately and there had been a torrential downpour for a few hours before we hit the trail. It was a tough run. The mud was fun but it also made for heavier legs and the temp with the extra dose of humidity wore us out. We did take quite a few walk breaks but we still had fun and kept a decent pace according to my Garmin even though it felt like a death march at times. The Boy Scouts were out hiking and we did lots of dodging around them. It is amazing how oblivious teenage boys can be. When we would announce we were coming up on their left the only ones that heard us were there Troop Leaders, the boys never flinched. Ah, the things I have to look forward to with my son!

I didn't get a trail run in on Monday since my son had to skip preschool due to a runny nose. So I waited until Brian got home and ran at the local park. It wasn't much fun and my IT band felt tight at the end. I felt pretty discouraged. I made sure to take extra good care of it over the next few days. My run Wednesday morning at the greenway with the girls was successful, no IT band issues. That gave me hope for my planned 5.75 mile trail run on Friday.

On Friday I hit the trail, literally. I still had Monday's run swirling around my head and I decided to start my run with a ratio of 4 mins of run to 35 sec of walk. I felt good and was cruising along somewhere after the 2.5 mi point and bam I was rolling on the ground! I clearly didn't see the rock/root responsible under all the newly fallen leaves. I was amazed at how fast it happened. I truly didn't realize I was falling until I was already eating dirt. I finished my log roll and popped up to my feet, checked for blood and went on my way. No blood just some dirty knees and hands. The rest of my run was uneventful. My ratio of run to walk went out the window around mile 4 due to all the short but steep inclines. I finished my run feeling good and tough! I finally ate it on the trail! I must say I prefer falling while running trails to falling off a horse!

Today I feel good and the only sign of my tumble on the trail is a tiny bruise on my left hip. I've been contemplating doing an 11k trail race next weekend but I decided this morning that I'm going to skip it. I think it would be just a hair too much for me right now. Kay and I are signed up for a 10k trail race on Nov 14th. Hopefully it won't rain that day or it will end up being a road race and that's just not what I have in mind.